


Dodge Quidditch: A True Holiday Story

by StoneAndRoses



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Childish Jokes, Facebook: The Pen15 is Mightier, Fluff, Gen, Hogwarts Inter-House Rivalries, Holidays, Humor, Mischief, POV Draco Malfoy, Quidditch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:28:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27809104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StoneAndRoses/pseuds/StoneAndRoses
Summary: Ron and George Weasley have devised a way to initiate Ginny and Hermione’s new boyfriends when they join the Weasley Christmas at the Burrow for the first time. A bludgers only game is bound to get ugly and maybe a little bloody.
Relationships: Ginny Weasley/Blaise Zabini, Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy
Comments: 6
Kudos: 29
Collections: Pen15 is Mightier Prompt Exchange 2020





	Dodge Quidditch: A True Holiday Story

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [Pen15isMightierPromptExchange2020](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Pen15isMightierPromptExchange2020) collection. 



> This is something completely different than what I would normally write and I had a lot of fun with this prompt. I hope I did it justice! 
> 
> And as always, Thanks to the Pen15 is Mightier for being an amazingly fun and supportive writing group. Happy Holidays to all!
> 
> **Prompt:**
> 
> The Weasley siblings invent a modified version of quidditch: Dodge Quidditch. Everyone has a bat, the only balls are bludgers, and the last person on their broom wins.

“This is ludicrous-”

“Granger, Granger, Granger,” chuckled George, shaking his head. “You didn’t honestly think that Malfoy and Zabini would have it easy their first Christmas at the Burrow did you?”

Draco’s girlfriend snorted, “Apparently good manners or genuine conversations about forgiveness and letting go of the past is too much to ask for with the youngest boys of this family.” Hermione turned to look at him and gave him a look. One that said she was disappointed and thought that this was a crazy idea. 

Because it was. 

In place of the friendly Quidditch match, sans bludgers, that was played before dinner on Christmas Eve every year, Ron and George had declared that they would be playing “Dodge Quidditch.” Which was apparently the hot new trend with _the youths_ right now. Not that he bought any of that dragon dung. 

There were no hoops standing on the field, just a slightly visible magical ward. Hopefully it was the twin that put it up, not Weasel, or it would be a sieve they’d be chasing balls through all day. The only balls that had been brought out were the bludgers and they looked as if they were going to break through their restraining straps at any moment. He also hoped that there wasn’t an extra Weasley Wizarding Wheezes experimental enchantment on them. Draco was slightly in awe of the magic that George Weasley dreamed up and produced, but didn’t particularly relish it when it was threatening to turn him black and blue. 

“Don’t worry Hermione,” said Blaise calmly. “We’re game. I just need an explainer on the rules since this seems to be a Weasley tradition?” he asked with raised eyebrows. Oh good, at least someone else saw through this farce as much as Draco did.

“Well then,” declared Weaselby with a shite eating grin, “First, there are no balls except bludgers. They have the usual enchantments. Nothing more, nothing less. There is no snitch which means that there will be a different ending to the game.”

Ron dumped a box of beaters bats out onto the grass in front of them. 

“Everyone gets a beater bat,” declared George. “And then you’ll have your broom. That’s it. We have the standard issue shin and arm guards for everyone, so make sure you wear your pads, lads.” At a sharp look from Ginny and Fleur, he amended, “And ladies. We don’t think anyone will break any bones, but can never be too sure.”

“That grass better have a cushioning charm!” groused Hermione. Draco had to hold back a full guffaw, but let a chuckle out. His Gryffindor princess was loyal to a fault but he loved that she would go to bat for him. 

“Don’t worry,” said Mr. Weasley cajolingly, “I placed them myself. And if Hermione wants, she can volunteer to perform arresting charms when people fall.”

“ _When_ people fall?!?”

“I was getting there ‘Mione-”

“Ronald-”

Ron sighed, “Since there is no snitch, to win the game, you must be the last one left on your broom.”

There were excited mumblings from the group and an added, “barbaric, honestly” from Hermione as she turned away from the group to find her usual chair next to the pitch. Mrs. Weasley was currently setting up a blanket in the melted snow for Victoire to play. Before she could walk over, Ginny ran up to her and the two began whispering furiously. When would Ron Weasley learn that pissing those two off was not a good idea, especially if they were mad at the same time.

Draco called his broom up without a word and began to saunter towards the “pitch.”

“You realize we can’t lose, right?” whispered Blaise.

“Obviously,” he drawled back. “We can team up, and I assume _your_ redhead will help us.”

Blaise smirked, “Oh she’s on a warpath. That’s what I think she’s telling Hermione right now. Gin’s ready to show her brothers that she doesn’t appreciate the scheming. I’d imagine that Fleur won’t take any of their sides either.”

“We can probably flip Potter too.” 

Both the men looked over to Harry reluctantly mounting his broom, looking skeptically at the bat in his gloved hands. It was surely to be a new experience for him, and most of them, because nobody really played beater except for George. Sure, being a good flyer would be helpful, but you need strength and a little practice to aim a bludger well. 

“Perhaps, but I say we just go full snake v lion and if Potter feels so inclined to help us, so be it.”

“Agreed.”

Right before he crossed the ward, Hermione grabbed him around the waist from behind. 

“Please don’t do anything stupid,” she whipsered. “This is Ron trying to project his manhood onto everyone else, and George getting away with mischief right under Molly’s nose. She gave them a big speech about welcoming guests, but apparently it didn’t stick.”

“Hermione, I don’t want any type of image or idea regarding Weaselby’s manhood. And I’ll be careful. You trust me and my broom don’t you?” Maybe that was a little too much innuendo but it would distract her. 

She smiled, “Yes. and I trust that Ginny will give ‘em hell as she normally does.”

“Excellent,” he said, turning to kiss her forehead. “But you still have to cheer for me.”

Hermione playfully rolled her eyes, “If I must.” 

“That’s my girl,” he said, with a playful pat to her head. 

Clearly Draco had to remind everyone that he was a superior flyer, so he placed his broom at knee height to hover and lept onto it. He then crossed his arms and began rising into the warded area, finishing with a finger wave to Hermione for extra flair. He got a knowing shake of the head before jumping to a side saddle position and finding Blaise. 

“We can’t let this stand,” rasped Ginny, smoke starting to float out of her ears. 

“Calm yourself Tesoro. If you get yourself too worked up, you’ll be a little too all over the place.”

“I’m just _so_ annoyed. We normally have a perfectly chipper and competitive game of Quidditch during the holidays, but the boys couldn’t let this go. I also was really hoping Draco could redeem himself and actually beat Harry for once.”

Draco scoffed, “Just because I never beat him in Quidditch doesn’t mean that I didn’t beat him elsewhere.” The pair snickered at him, “The classroom, I meant that my marks were better than Potters- oh you two are useless.”

“Just help me destroy George and Ron and I won’t make any “beating” jokes in front of Harry later,” said Ginny, winking at him. 

Draco rolled his eyes again - they’d likely get stuck in the back of his head by the end of holiday - and nodded. “Let’s crush some Gryffindors.”

\----------

Nearly an hour later the family and significant others were still in the thick of it. Arthur had bowed out early allowing a softly hit bludger to “knock” him off his broom. The Weasley patriarch now sat with his wife and grandchild, while simultaneously helping Hermione not implode. 

Bill, surprisingly, was next. Fleur had begun to flirt with him, leaning forward, sitting suggestively on her broom, calling his name to ‘show off’ when she hit a bludger well. Her ‘feminine wiles’ had allowed Charlie a wide open target, and with a squarely hit bludger between the shoulder blades, the oldest brother was out of the game. Bill had tried to hold in his frustration with Fleur until she saw her high-five Charlie. After that he had been heckling his wife non-stop. Until she dropped Charlie off his own broom five minutes later.

But nobody had fallen after Charlie and that had been half an hour ago. Draco had mostly been shadowing Blaise and they were primarily focused on avoidance. The only bludger Draco had struck nicked the bristles of George’s broom before his opponent had moved out of the way. Before he could find where the balls were, he heard the commotion below him. 

“Give it up already Ron, I’ve got your number!” screamed Ginny as she relentlessly hit a bludger back at her brother. Draco floated down to get a better look at the chaos.

Weasel would block the bludger just as he might have when he played keeper at Hogwarts. The problem with that strategy was that the ball frequently went right back at Ginny because his aim was poor. The witch was slowly decreasing the distance between herself and her brother, increasing the intensity of the hit. Ron couldn’t even get a word in edgewise with all the continuous hits. Draco could see Weasley’s grip beginning to slip and decided a little extra help was needed. 

“Well played Ginevra, looks like you’re proving superior to your brother at his own game,” he called to Weasley.

Ronald’s face turned red and his head turned to look at Draco. 

“Shut up Malfoy, you haven’t done anything useful this ga-AME!” The end of the sentence turned into an exclamation as the redhead in question began to fall off his broom after Ginny sent another direct hit his way. The bludger had made contact directly with his knuckle, crushing it against his broom and proved to be the last straw left on his grip.

“Yes, but I’m still on my broom,” he called as Ron hit the ground. Granger had left the spell to stop his momentum to the last millimeter and Draco questioned whether Weasel had soiled his britches. Hopefully he had. Served the sod right. 

“Look out Mate!” called Blaise. 

Draco ducked just in time for a bludge to go sailing past him. Turning he found black hair sticking every which way and glasses that he had come to know for the last eight years. 

“Really, Potter? Are we really doing this?”

The other wizard smirked and shrugged his shoulders, calling, “I guess we are.”

“Have it your way then,” retorted Draco. He leaned forward over his Firebolt III and took off to the other side of their playing area, desperately chasing the bludger. If he was going to win this, Draco would need to transfer his seeker skills in some way. 

As if on instinct, Potter took off after him. 

“Just like old times, yeah?” Draco called back to him.

“Especially since I’m going to beat you,” called Potter back. 

Draco groaned, “Please don’t say beat.”

“But that’s literally what we’re doing we’re bea-”

Draco cut him off with a growl. “At least don’t say it in front of Blaise or Ginevra.”

“You know she hates being called that, right?”

“Yet she lets me do it, is that perhaps why there was trouble in paradise?” Draco relished in his other useful skill today, ribbing Gryffindors.

“That’s not exactly it…”

“Well out with it Potter, are you only good with wooden broomsticks?”

Potter surprised him by laughing so hard that he started to lose control. “Too good actually,” was his reply between laughs. 

“Oh, you were too good with your broomstick?”

“Yeah, and others.”

Draco slammed to a halt and just stared at the wizard. 

“Then why is she dating my best friend? Don’t women dream of being with multiple, ah, broomsticks?”

Potter was now flying lazily next to him, still laughing, bludger completely forgotten. 

“Let’s just say that I like broomsticks too much, and am more interested in them than quaffles.”

As the lumos lit up his brain, Draco watched as a bludger hit Potter in the arm, sending him into a tailspin, eventually hitting the ground. The insane Gryffindor was still laughing. 

“I thought you knew Potter liked blokes,” said Blaise. “Come help us get Percy and George.”

“Wait, Potter’s gay?”

Blaise shook his head, “You are so observant sometimes.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You and Potter were a little obsessed with each other at school… I’d also have thought you might have noticed how secretive Theodore’s been about his dates lately.”

“Potter and Nott? Huh, I guess I can see it. Fine, where’s your girlfriend? Does she need help?”

The answer was an emphatic ‘no.’ Ginevra and Fluer Weasley were single handedly taking down their brothers. Draco thought Percy might cry. The usually put together Ministry worker was now a sweaty mess and desperately trying to escape the barrage of bludgers sent his way by the women giving chase. 

“Hold on Perce, I’ll help you!” called George trying to intercept Ginny. But he wasn’t successful. 

Two bludgers hit Percy at once and he fell swiftly to the ground before Hermione softened his fall. 

“That’s it! I will have my last stand!” called George in a jokingly dramatic tone. “I may die here, or I may die later in my bed. But I will have my freedom! For the Weasleys!”

The charge was short lived as the bludgers came swinging back towards Blaise and Ginny who timed their hits perfectly, both balls striking George’s shoulders and pushing him into a sloth grip. The twin gave them all the two finger salute before releasing completely and floating to the ground, knowing he was beat. 

“So much for a Weasley tradition… you all are shite at this.”

“It’s not actually a tradition, you arse,” said Ginny, punching Blaise in the shoulder. 

“I was being facetious, Ginevra,” replied Blaise, popping the v with his lips. 

“Now what?” asked Draco. “Do we really have to see this to the end? I think my manners tutor might die if I have to knock a member of an elite French house off their broom, even if they did marry into this family.”

Fleur snorted in a very unladylike fashion, “Oo sez you could?”

“Fair point,” conceded Draco. 

“I’m calling a draw,” said Ginny. “All the in-laws and significant others get the first bite of dessert tonight. And you all get to give George and Ron a hard time for the rest of your lives. You beat them at their own game.” The smirk she threw Blaise and Draco was too much. 

“That’s enough beating talk to last a lifetime I think,” muttered Draco. 

“Oh good, I’ll let Hermione know how you feel about it.”

“Cheeky witch.”


End file.
